Off the Page: Featuring Ruthie Ackerman

"My writing has become the glue of belonging in my life."

For over two decades, I’ve worked with writers as an editor, publicist, and mindfulness-based book coach. I’ve learned that a writing life isn’t just about words on the page—it’s shaped by everything we do when we’re not writing. That’s why I created Off the Page: Conversations About Writing as a Practice, where writers share the routines that fuel their creativity—from yoga and meditation to walking, reading, and even Olympic weightlifting. There’s no single path to a writing life—only the one that works for you.

This week, I’m excited to feature Ruthie Ackerman — an award-winning journalist and longtime friend of our community.

Her debut memoir, The Mother Code, comes out on May 6! In this propulsive memoir, Ruthie blends history, science, and cultural criticism to explore whether motherhood outside of society’s rigid rules and expectations is possible — and whether she fits the mold for what a mother should be. It’s a powerful, thought-provoking read — and I hope you’ll join me in celebrating Ruthie and her remarkable new book.

👉 Preorder The Mother Code <here>.

ABOUT: An award-winning journalist, Ruthie Ackerman’s writing has been published in Vogue, Glamour, O Magazine, The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Salon, Slate, Newsweek, and more. Her Modern Love essay for the New York Times became the launching point for her memoir, The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us. Ruthie launched The Ignite Writers Collective in 2019 and since then has become an in-demand book coach and developmental editor. Her client wins include a USA Today bestseller, book deals with Big 5 publishers, representation by buzzy book agents, and essays in prestigious outlets. She has a Master's in Journalism from New York University and lives in Brooklyn with her family. You can find her on Substack, and also https://www.ruthieackerman.com/ https://www.instagram.com/ruackerman/

Lisa Weinert (LW): How is writing a healing practice?

Ruthie Ackerman (RA): I find that I don’t hear my own voice unless I’m writing. In the grind of everyday life, I can’t pinpoint my desires. It’s only when I’m in front of an open page that the words start to flow out and I think: Wow, where did that come from? The act of seeing my thoughts in black and white is healing. And once my words are exposed to air, I can process them. That’s where the catharsis comes from. But there is a large gap between writing for my own healing and writing for a reader. Some writing can heal both the author and the audience at the same time. Not all writing does, though.

LW: What role does movement play in your writing life? Do you return to any somatic practices, mindfulness exercises, or other rituals before or after you write?

RA: I never gave enough credit to movement. I sort of forgot I had a body for most of my life. Then I got pregnant and Covid-19 descended on the world and I had little to no opportunity to move around. Once my daughter was born and I was trying to run my own business, I would go days without leaving my apartment. I learned the hard way that if I don’t move everything in my life starts to fall apart. I don’t write as well, or as much. My anxiety rages. I lose my temper with my husband. My form of self-care is walking. Suddenly, an idea I sat at my desk for hours trying to unlock from my mind comes rushing out as I breathe and move and feel the air on my skin.

LW: Where do you find inspiration?

RA: I find inspiration by surrounding myself with art and beauty. I’m lucky because I live in New York City so I go to the MOMA and look at Marlene Dumas’s incredible paintings. Or I walk through Books are Magic, my local indie, and see all the human yearning that other writers have turned into art. Or even just wandering around my neighborhood of Brooklyn Heights and soaking in the history of those who walked these streets before me. I also spend a lot of time in community with other writers who understand my visceral need to grapple with life’s questions through words. Even just talking through ideas with other writers helps to move the boulder of stuckness out of the way and create a path forward on the page.

Last, but certainly not least, I’m inspired any time I can travel outside of the country. My husband, daughter and I recently went to Merida, Mexico and I left that week feeling a sense of wonder and awe I hadn’t felt in a long time.

LW: How has sharing your work changed your life?

RA: In every possible way. By opening up about the questions I’m grappling with, it gives others permission to open up to me. Connection breeds community. My writing has become the glue of belonging in my life. I used to believe there was something wrong with me. That I would perpetually be on the outside looking in. Through writing I have found my tribe. And that, in turn, has allowed me to write more.

LW: What writers have influenced you the most?

RA: SO MANY! Lyz Lenz, Miranda July, Claire Dederer, Kate Manne, Elizabeth Gilbert….the list goes on and on. I’m a voracious reader. I’m always reading a handful of books at once. I’m also lucky that I get to spend my days working with writers on their own book manuscripts and proposals through my company, The Ignite Writers Collective, so I’m constantly discovering new writers that I can’t wait to introduce to the world. Writing is a radical act. To share our voices in a world that wants to silence us is a radical act. Anyone who is willing to stand up to the powers that be and say “I have a story to tell” influences and inspires me.

LW: What book are you excited to read next?

RA: See above! SO MANY. I’m reading Emma Patee’s novel Tilt right now about a woman’s journey into the unknown after a huge earthquake hits the Pacific Northwest. I’m also devouring Loving Sylvia Plath by Emily Van Duyne. My drug of choice is nonfiction books about fascinating women and Sylvia Plath is high on that list. The new Joan Didion book Notes to John is too.