Writing Myth: Writers Write Alone
Why writing begins with listening and belonging
Hi Friends,
We’re told that writing is a solitary act. To be a “real” writer, you need to shut the door, sit alone, and make it happen.
But in my experience, the opposite is true. Writing is—and always has been—a communal practice. We thrive when we share, listen, and create together.
Writing is more than putting words on a page. It’s everything that surrounds that act: the ways we prepare ourselves, the listening we do, the conditions we create so our inner stories can be voiced.
One of the surest ways I know to create those conditions is in trusted community. At last week’s Listening Circle open mic, strangers became friends in minutes—through eye contact, warm nods, and laughter that left us in tears. One of our members, writer Holly Messick, who is working on her first memoir, wrote to me afterward: “This group is the healing space I needed. Just when I feel like giving up on my book … a spark of hope shows up in these spaces.”
That’s what happens when we share with trusted others and mirror each other’s worth: our creative lives expand and remember their purpose.
A Shared Rhythm
The Listening Circle felt like yoga class. In yoga, you come for yourself—to breathe, to settle into your own body. But what makes it powerful is the collective rhythm: the way the group holds space for you, and the way your presence supports them in return.
And just like yoga, the real practice begins when you step off the mat. What we cultivate together—compassionate listening, mutual support, courage, tenderness—follows us back to the page, and into our lives.
When our inner stories feel truly expressed and heard, we naturally become safe listeners for everyone around us. Without trying, the practice ripples outward. It shapes how we meet the people and moments that cross our paths.
Science offers us language for what we know in our bones. Polyvagal Theory shows us that when we are mirrored with compassion, our nervous system shifts into safety. Our breath steadies, our body relaxes, and our stories expand. This is the healing power of being seen and heard.
When You Feel Stuck
When you’re tired, blocked, or unsure what to say, the surest way to find inspiration is to support another writer.
Ask a friend to share a story—written or spoken. As you listen, resist the urge to interrupt, fix, question, or even reassure. Instead, simply notice two things:
How you feel in your body
What you love
That’s it. Listening itself is the practice. Listening is what opens the door back to the page.
The Reframe
Writing is not about toughing it out alone. Writing is about community.
When we let go of the myth of isolation, we step into something richer: writing as connection, writing as care, writing as community.
The power of the Listening Circle is simple: our stories are meant to be shared. When we show up for one another, belonging, worthiness, and inspiration follow. Writers who arrive uncertain or tentative leave with their voices reflected back to them—and with a renewed sense of courage.
It always circles back to this truth: writing is more than putting words on a page. It’s how we prepare, how we listen, and how we carry our stories into the world. Once we feel a sense of belonging, the words may begin to flow more freely.
✨ I’d love to hear from you:
What helps you feel less alone in your creative practice? You can share in the comments — your reflections often become sparks for others.
And if you’re craving more than the page, there are spaces where we can gather in real time. Our Salon community on Substack is a place to reflect, exchange, and grow together week by week. And our Listening Circles are where we take it deeper — live, high-touch gatherings where you can share your words aloud and be witnessed.